December 15th, 2008
So I went to the laundromat today, and after I put my load in I went over to the change machine to get some quarters. Every time I put a dollar in I got back something decidedly NOT a quarter: a handful of game tokens from Chuck E Cheese, five or so bent nails, some ice, a piece of Bazooka Joe gum (sans wrapper). Etc. etc.
I must’ve put in about six dollars when Georg walks in, cocky (i.e., drunk) as usual. He walks up next to me, says, “problem with the machine?”, hits it once all Fonzy-style, and proceeds to get a big mountain of quarters and run around yelling “I won! I won! Jackpot!”
I don’t know how he did it - all I know is that he owes me $6 in quarters.
Tags: detergent, jackpot, laundry
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December 14th, 2008
Well, it’s been a long LONG time since I’ve posted anything. A lot has happened in the past few years: Court-case, disorderly conduct, identity theft, new city, etc., etc., etc. The end result was a shaky truce that involved me moving to New York with a good chunk of Georg’s money. It hurt giving up the blog, but the prospect of getting rid of Georg AND getting some cash out of it was too good to pass up. And I lived happily ever after…
BUT
Lo and behold, I’m walking by the Gowanus canal the other day when I notice this crazy shopping cart chariot thing come racing up 3rd street toward me, driven by some nut in a viking helmet and a martini in one hand. At first I thought it was part of that weird race they do every year. By the time I realized it was Georg it was too late: he had already swerved over nest to me and forced me off the bridge and into the canal below.
Do you know how POLLUTED the Gowanus canal is, Georg? Do you know that I had to srub my skin raw for an HOUR and STILL smelled like it for over a WEEK?
So yeah, Georg is back in town. It is SO ON.
Tags: gowanus canal, shopping cart, viking
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June 30th, 2003
Whatever, you know what’s NOT funny? It’s NOT funny to hit a guy with water balloons when all he’s trying to do is have a nice walk on his lunch break. It’s even less funny if you keep on throwing said water balloons off of the top of the building you’re hiding on when the person asks you to stop. And it’s really not funny to have the last one filled with paint. You hear me, Georg? That was a new shirt I was wearing. Don’t think you’re not paying for it.
Tags: balloons, paint, stain
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June 25th, 2003
Oh man, late night last night. I got home and couldn’t sleep, so I decided to stay up and watch a little TV. Anyway, around 3am or something one of those crappy infomercials come on. It was one of those kitchen products that’s supposed to make life easier, but who’s on there selling it? Georg, of course. I swear, he’s finding new ways to ruin my life. I wouldn’t be so mad if the gadget didn’t seem like a really really good idea. I wonder who he stole it from?
Tags: infomercial, three easy payments
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June 24th, 2003
So I ran into Georg at the post office today, all in his “civilian” clothes (i.e. no loud clothing and no vodka in hand). I decided it was a good time to confront him about the party, and maybe humiliate him a little in front of the good people of the postal service. I start in with something like, “Well, well, well. If it isn’t Mr. ‘Let’s get really drunk and send a bomb to the President!’ Go to any good parties lately?” And he has the nerve to pretend he doesn’t know me! He’s all like, “Excuse me, but I don’t think we’ve met. I’d be happy to help you figure out how much postage you’ll need to pay if that’s your problem, but they have professionals here for that.” HE ACTUALLY SAID THIS!!! With a nice friendly smile on his face and everything. I know he’s not going to give up his little game, so I go right to plan B and try to get someone to search his package for a bomb. So I kind of got escorted outside. I didn’t even get to mail my envelope.
Tags: post office, terrorism
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June 21st, 2003
What a miserable night. I went to this party tonight, figured a little unwinding would do me good. It was a lot of fun. I didn’t know a lot of people there, but it was pretty chill. Anyway, after a little while I start talking to this girl, Michelle. She was very nice and we were getting a long just fine, until Georg showed up. He must have known I was there. I mean, he doesn’t even live in the area or anything. But he comes in with his thug “friends” and just starts acting like an idiot. He’s grabbing drinks out of people’s hands and throwing them across the room, not even taking a sip first. He was even taking bites out of an apple and spitting it in people’s faces. And then just start laughing. Total freak. And yes, of course he was drunk. Anyway, then Michelle started asking “Do you know who that is?” So I told her. AND SHE WANTED ME TO INTRODUCE HER! What! Before I could even refuse he came on over and started whispering something in Michelle’s ear. I’m not sure what it was, exactly, but they both started laughing and pointing at me. It was probably just me being paranoid, but I looked around and everyone else was laughing and pointing, too. Then Georg slugged me in the stomach and left with Michelle. I didn’t stay long after that.
Tags: apple, Michelle, party
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June 17th, 2003
Not much to report today. I was walking down the street and saw Georg throwing some money at a couple of BU students, getting them to embarrass themselves for his amusement. One was running back and forth across Comm. ave yelling, “I’m a stupid monkey! I’m a stupid monkey!” and the other was eating pages out of his textbook (I think it was physics). Georg was just laughing. I got onto the T, and right as the doors were closing I yelled out, “whores!” I don’t think he knew it was me, but my train did get delayed for half an hour inbetween Hynes and Copley. Go figure.
Tags: BU, physics, stupid monkey
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June 16th, 2003
What the hell? So I go to the beach the other day, way out there in Rhode Island, and Georg is there showing off for his “friends.” He ends up walking off by himself after a little while (probably so he could look “deep”), so I decide to follow after him and tell him what I thought of his goons trashing my apartment. Just as I’m yelling out, “Hey, ass-hat!” I get tackled from behind. It is, of course, one of his bodyguards. Jonny D, I think. Anyway, Jonny D is pushing my face in the sand when Georg stumbles on over. He grabs me by the hair and gets in real close to my face. And he was DRUNK. Looking all green and bloodshot. He’s yelling all sorts of incoherent stuff at me inbetween swigs from his flask. I thought I heard him say, “Get rhythm,” but it must have been something else, because right after that Jonny D carried me a few yards and tossed me into a port-a-potty. But whatever. At least I’m not a drunk.
Tags: goons, Jonny D, port-a-potty
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June 12th, 2003
Sorry There hasn’t been an update in a while. Looks like Georg found out about my little website and tried to put an end to it. Does he bother to go through the proper channels and sue me for libel? Of course not, BECUASE IT’S ALL TRUE! No instead he hires a couple of goons to break into my apartment and smash up my computer. What the hell? So since then I’ve been at the police station filling out forms. Don’t know why I bothered, though. I have a feeling they all “sympathize” with Mr. Pedersen and his friends Mr. Franklin and Mr. Grant, if you know what I mean. But now I’m back, with a laptop and plenty of material.
Tags: goons, paperwork
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May 29th, 2003
I went to go see “Matrix Reloaded” today. Can’t say I enjoyed it. Some ass was talking through the whole thing. I turned around to say something, and sure enough it was Georg “I think I’m so witty and clever that I should talk through EVERY movie I see even if no one else wants to hear it because I’m a stupid jerk” Pedersen. When I said something to him he just laughed and started throwing popcorn at me. I went to get an usher, but Georg just threw some cash at him. I left after he spoiled the ending for me. Thanks a lot, you big jerk.
Tags: Matrix, popcorn
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